1- Trust Yourself
You don’t have to listen to advice others give you
Every parent is a new parent first. It takes a while to feel confident in making decisions for both you and your baby. And don’t get me wrong you should definitely turn to others for help and advice but if you feel overwhelmed by unsolicited advice, at the end of the day, your baby’s life is decided by you.
2 – It’s going to be hard and that’s okay
you are not a failure- have patience
Parenting is hard. That is clear once you realize you will have lost hours of sleep and no longer have control of your life. I’ve always heard that parenting is hard but didn’t understand why. I had no idea what mothers went through. I knew labor was hard, that tantrums and crying babies are difficult, but there’s so much more. Parenting puts a lot of strain on one person and even the most patient person will have tough days. That’s okay, you’re learning just like every new parent is.
3- don’t be hard on yourself
you will make mistakes
We are only human and as much as you think parents have to be perfect to raise their child in the best way, no one is superhuman. All you can really do is your best. Make your decisions and if you make mistakes all you can do is learn from them. All there is left to do after that is love your baby.
4- You can do this
Read books and ask questions if you want that support. There are resources for you to take advantage of such as the internet. I’m not advocating for everyone to have a kid. Instead, I am trying to spread assurance to those that might feel hopeless when they read that positive pregnancy test.
I do most of my life with plans but didn’t plan to have a baby as a 21-year-old. I didn’t feel prepared and I honestly wasn’t. I didn’t do the reading or training classes. No baby shower or a big announcement. Yet, I feel stronger now. I love my baby no matter how hard it gets. If you even have a moment where you feel like you can be a parent try it. (If you need even more reassurance- I didn’t get along with little kids that much but I want to teach and I did while being pregnant so there’s that).
Nowadays I read tons of books, online articles, and Instagram mother/parenting posts.
5- Your love is enough for your baby
you don’t need to overspend or stress over keeping them happy all the time
Things will be okay. Loving your baby sometimes can be hard. You’re stressed over feeding them, providing for them, entertaining them but a baby wants your love most of all. Don’t get caught up in trying to spend loads of money for the best life for your baby when your baby needs you the most.
This post was to reassure those worried, anxious parents that feel they have no idea how to be new parents. I knew I always wanted a baby someday just not right after graduating with my bachelor’s degree. Not before I moved out and found a teaching job.
Am I saying even in hopeless situations we should and will prevail? No, but if you feel that love for your baby you are capable to keep loving that baby.
You don’t need a massive house with a nursery and the latest baby toys and tools. You don’t need to be an expert in babies to have one. You can give your baby everything with the love you provide. And in the end, if you need to pass your baby to parents that can give them it all then that’s what you have to do.
I made my decision albeit not the most well throughout one (moving out spontaneously, taken by surprise with labor, learning how to breastfeed, etc.) I knew I couldn’t part with my baby. I knew I wanted to be a part of its life every day and that I would dedicate my life to making it the best I can provide.